Set in a fairy-tale world where the golden goose is played by a stand-up comedian, lame fantasy adventure Jack and the Beanstalk seeks to emulate the playful wit of the wondrous The Princess Bride but falls woefully short.
Bland moppet Colin Ford plays would-be heroic Jack, who swaps his C.O.W. video game for a handful of magic beans and sets off up the beanstalk to perform the act of derring-do that will enable him to pass his Heroics class and redeem the family honour. Accompanying him is pet goose Grayson, who’s been given half-human/half-avian form by one of the beans and now takes the shape of raucously whiny comedian Gilbert Gottfried. Chloe Grace Moretz shows up too and in an echo of her Kick-Ass role has a pillow fight with a bunch of ninjas. Christopher Lloyd, Wallace Shawn and Chevy Chase are also involved, so you’d expect the film to be a lot funnier than it is, but Gary J Tunnicliffe’s flat direction doesn’t give anyone a chance to shine.
Jack and the Beanstalk is showing on Sky Premiere from Friday 25th February.